Frustration. That emotion pulsated through me strongly throughout this entire book. And I felt bad for feeling it. Really though, so much that this old couple went through was unnecessary. I guess it’s hard to understand if you are not in their shoes, but I don’t know. I was just frustrated. Why were they constantly living in filth? Why were they always so resistant against seeking medical help? Why did they eat like crap? But my frustration is not only towards Lars and Rachel. I was also frustrated at Laura who put waaaay too much on her own shoulders (I understand she loved them but she put her life on hold for 4 years…or maybe I just don’t understand) and at the severely flawed system in place at the hospitals and nursing homes especially toward the end (You’re really going to leave the railings down and not feed a patient who is blind? Especially when there is a sign right above her head? Seriously?)
Overall, however, I believe I feel this overwhelming frustration because I care for Lars and Rachel so much. They truly are sweet people, and they deserved so much more than what they had to go through. However, I do find some comfort in the fact that, for the most part, they did not feel too troubled by their situation. They transitioned so slowly and gradually into senility: “Things get worse in such small increments that you can get used to anything.” But still, why did it have to be that way?
Maybe that is the effect Joyce Farmer was trying to convey. Maybe her experience brought her intense frustration too, and this book was her catharsis. The passivity and inattentiveness at hospitals, the overwhelming obstinacy of her parents, their increasing senility, her never-ending sense of duty and guilt; it all took its toll. It all makes me wonder how much I could handle. And then I realize that I would do anything in the world for my parents. Hmm…interesting.
Also I wanted to quickly comment on the depictions of the characters themselves. Many, if not most of the expressions are (I hate to say it) just plain ugly. And I know these are not ugly people; why were their faces always so grotesque at the slightest inclinations of emotion? I feel like it was definitely done on purpose, but I’m not sure what Farmer’s motivations were.
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